Fitness products that do not make you fit aka Get Fit Fast

How much of what you buy is aimed to improve your confidence? Many things we get in our possession, permanently or temporary, beyond the basic needs, are meant to improve our self-esteem. We rent an apartment that is more expensive than what we can comfortably afford, just to say we live in a specific neighborhood. We travel to places and spend the entire time taking pictures, instead of enjoying, just to show on social media that we got it like that.  And we part with the money  in exchange for things that promise us look better in underwear.

Insecurity around our body is a big money-maker for brands. Hence, fitness products are a fast growing category. Yet, not everything that is sold as “fitness” actually makes you fit.

Get fit fast; slim when you sleep; lose weight when you eat; do not go to gym a day of your life and rock that body. These slogans are the titans in the world of slogans. They make you hopeful. They are suspicious AF but you secretly believe that they are actually true.

Here are 10 fitness products that promise you to improve how you feel about your body. While giving you a deceiving comfort for checking boxes in your fitness lifestyle, they do nothing to actually get you fit.

1. Express workout programs

to put you through unnecessary intensity for a short period just to have you bounce back right after.

2. Magic slimming pill

to get a taste of that forbidden formula “they don’t want you to have an access to”.

3. Slimming tea

sold by amazingly looking models asking for a pretty penny for an aromatized senna tea.

4. Waist trainer

a “celebrity favorite” that will squash your intestines so you can enjoy an hourglass body, until you take it off.

5. Fitness shoes

to spend extra energy to balance while wearing them to avoid getting injured.

6. Shaping cremes

to watch your fat melt away, well, at least this is what you will be wishing as it melted some of your money.

7. Fitness bars

to feel good biting into the deliciousness of the “healthy snack”, full of sugar and preservatives.

8. Powdered nutrition

to cover all nutritional needs with components you don’t really need to know the origin of, as long as it works.

9. Celebrity workouts

to become a part of a clique, except you don’t have a private trainer, a masseuse, and thousands of dollars to sprinkle on top, but that’s minor.

 10. Wearables

to tell the world that you care about your sex appeal, except you check nothing but the number of steps on these wearables.

11. All-in-one workout machine

to pay few hundred dollars to boost your imagination about how this now can fit your interior as another clothes hanger.
Now let me pour some 28 Day Detox Tea. It makes me feel especially good while the tingling coolness of a firming cream melts my love handles, tightly tucked under a shaping tank top. Brewing this tea will add about 5 steps I’ve been missing before I hit my daily goal. I am not trying to cut the corners, but that supplement, I bought on my credit card, does make a difference. It makes me, big insecure self, feel like I am hardcore fitness, while I’m doing literally nothing, in my activewear.

Now keep the money and go to gym.